Alex's Story 2023 #helpforAlex Part 5 The end of Week #1
- Joe Siar
- Oct 8, 2023
- 3 min read
Today ended week 1 of Alex’s journey to get help. Week 1 that started 20 days ago (one long ass week!). Week 1 of his therapy program. Week 1 ended with our first family session together at his PHP program.
Everyone who knows me knows that I am a numbers and spreadsheet guy! So I’m going to share some stats with you below about Alex’s first week:
Total days
20
Total ER hours
14
Total hospital hours
89
Total therapy hours
52
Total locations visited
4
Total phone calls
61
Miles driven
1,127
Hours waited
44
Hours driven
17
Doctors/therapists/nurses spoken to
21
Hours slept in 20 days
68
Tanks of gas
5
Money spent
$4,000
Messages sent
5,000 +
Money raised
$9,816
This is just for the first week. We still have 5-6 more to go and long term therapy after this.
As we sat in todays therapy session there were a few things that stood out. The sadness was overwhelming because as a 40 year parent I can not seem to grasp or understand what a child must be going through to attempt suicide. How much pain can a 12 year old, innocent, young, bright, beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring, and wonderful child suffer from to think the only way to end that suffering is to end their life. It’s devastating just to think about.
Alex is 4’9 and 95 lbs and his heart is no bigger than a peach. Anyone who knows Alex can only love him because he literally brings joy to other peoples lives. How can someone bring so much love into another persons life, yet, be in complete agony on the inside?
I’ve raised Alex all alone since he was about 5. Alex loves art and loves projects. His passion is cooking and he has a very diverse palate for his age. He loves sushi, seafood, croissants, seaweed, spaghetti, rice, ramen, baking, and ethnic foods. He hates pancakes, muffins, pop tarts, or just about any food a normal child his age likes. He has 3 Guinea pigs and 2 mice. When he grows up he wants to live in a van and have a farm of small animals, a garden, and a restaurant.
Alex reminds me very much of myself in that he just wants everyone around him to be happy and feel loved, yet inside we both feel empty and alone. We wish everyone loved each other and there was no sadness in the world and that no one had to suffer, especially animals. Alex flat out refuses to use any products that do animal testing or are cruel to animals.
Alex has had a journey of figuring out his identity for quite some time. He doesn’t quite know where he lands on gender or sexuality yet. It’s very fluid. Yes, I 100% support Alex on his journey to find himself. As a parent that is considered controversial in the “Bible capital of America.” Especially coming from a generation that was still pretty black and white on these topics. However, I support this journey because Alex is their own person. His heart, soul, mind, body, and spirit are his and not mine. I myself and have been very much on my own path in life and always have been so I can completely relate. Anyone who knows me knows I stand out and I am oil to most peoples water.
Alex, like myself, will probably spend most of his life searching and feeling different than those around him. Also like myself, In large crowds he will feel like he is isolated and lonely. He will probably never fit in and will be a square trying to fit into a round hole. Alex has struggled with depression for a few years and has felt like there is no hope for him. That’s devastating for any parent, and for me personally EVERYONE who knows me knows Alex and I are glued to the hip. We are thick as thieves, ride or die, white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm close. It’s just always been that way. For 7ish years now we’ve been together 24/7/365 just about.
although today was sad and this “week” has been long. I look forward to the weeks ahead no matter how mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted I may be.
This almost feels like a quest, or a journey like Froto and Sam had to Mordor. Webster defines Community as - people with common interests living in a particular area or larger society. Y’all are my community! Y’all are my Fellowship of the Ring members accompanying me on this quest to get a beautiful young soul the help he needs to know that he is not alone and that he is loved deeply by so many people!
Thank you! Please share on social media!
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