Grocery Store Blues

So, last night started just like any other Wednesday night. My kids went with their mom and I enjoyed the couple of hours of peace and quiet while doing my taxes. Around 8pm, I leave the house to get my girls and we make a little stop at the local Kroger.

Now, if you have never taken multiple kids to the grocery store, or any store for that matter, then you and I are just not meant to be. The struggle is real y’all. It never fails that right as we walk into the doors, not five steps in I hear the infamous “daddy, I need….”

It is as if some buzzer goes off in their head that spells extortion, and the games begin. Look, I have heard it all people. From “this bag of Doritos will cure cancer” to “I haven’t eaten in six weeks” and even an “if I don’t get this (insert random product) some guy with a particular set of skills told me he would find me and….” I mean whatever it is it does not matter there is always a reason.

My Momma always tells me I’m just as bad as my Dad because I’m the guy saying no, no, no as I’m putting the item in the cart or checking out. However, last night, Joe Siar said no and meant it. So my little one decides she was going to go on strike. Not only did she stomp off and get sassy, but also, this time she decided she was going to go a whole other direction.

Well homie don’t play DAT.

Joe Siar walked his happy self to the front of the store with my bacon (who does not buy bacon every time it is on sale?) and checked out. Well time passed and little one was nowhere to be found. Therefore, I sent the oldest to fetch her, to no avail she comes up empty handed. Then I decide to retrieve little sassy pants myself, but she is not around. I admit I was a little nervous at this point. So I make an announcement across the loud speaker and even that did not work.

Eventually, a random person found her hiding within the bug spray products and returned her safely up front. Needless to say, this is a regular occurrence in my home.

Grocery and department stores beware…. we are coming to a neighborhood near you….