Life in a box... Fathers Day 2020

Being a father is a tough job if you do it right, and I’d love to sit here and say how great it is (which it is) but it’s a marathon type of joy. There are amazing moments that I love and bring me more joy than most anything else in life. Then there are days that just kick your ass.

I have 4 daughters and 3 of them live with me 90% of the time and it’s difficult. I’m proud to say that I’m a good dad, because I work my tail off to be one. I made it a clear point in my life to give my kids a fighting chance, and no I’m not going to do it all for them and hand them a silver platter; But, I will invest my life into them to show them how to be good adults.

Luckily I’ve learned a lot from my experience as a father and I wanted to share some of those lessons with you:

Patience is something I’ve learned to force myself to have on a daily basis. As a father and former soldier and lifelong leader in my careers, I like to say things and expect those things to get done. Now don’t be fooled because patience is not about waiting around and being ok with it. It’s about saying something and waiting, waiting, repeating, just to have wait longer. It’s knowing that this will happen and accepting it, and the outcome that comes with it. It’s about still loving this person even though they ignore you and knowing that you are here for the end result.

Teaching is also another trait I’ve learned to be quite good at. I tend to make sure I explain in great detail why, what, when, and how things are in life. When mistakes are made I make a point to instill in my children how to correct it. I also make sure they are taught how to do things in life as a whole. Money, credit, savings, housing, right and wrong, and just about anything that comes up.

Apologies are one of the most important things I’ve learned. I’m not always right and I’m not always level headed. Anyone who says they are is full of shit. But, I make sure I follow up any mistake or problem with an apology and my kids know we are all good and we make amends. If I’ve learned anything this is one of the most important.

Love is also top of the list. I make sure I remind my kids verbally, emotionally, and physically that I love them. Hugs, high fives, forehead kisses, and just telling them that I love them is crucial especially to young women. When I die my kids will never question if I loved them or ever said I loved them and meant it.

Respect for me is just vital. My kids have always been taught to respect me, and everyone else. All people deserve a level of respect no matter who they are. I harp on that every day about the importance of respect in relationships toward people.

Responsibility is a key to success. I teach my kids that they need to be responsible for themselves, there actions, there chores, and just life in general. Taking responsibility for their actions and being a responsible adult are so important in life that i may not even stress it enough. My kids pull their weight and are forced to do things even though I know it’s gonna piss me off when they do it but I make them do those things anyways because it’s important.

Man I tell you, raising girls is hard. They are sensitive, emotional, sassy, girly, haha all the things I am not. (Well maybe a little) I told myself I was going to raise strong, independent, free thinking women when I took this job on. And by golly I’m doing that even so that they are fierce and talk back and sass me all the time. But you know what I don’t want robots! I don’t want to raise girls that won’t be brave enough to stick up for what they believe in, and let some man or woman treat them like garbage. I would fail them as a father if I didn’t make sure they were tough enough to be safe and smart is this crazy world.

I see men and have always seen men who don’t perform as a father and it drives me nuts! I am single strictly because I will never ever need someone to do anything for me and I make a point that my kids won’t need that either. I hate the bad wrap that single dads get but I completely understand where and how they get it. I have my own regrets in that department as well to an extent.

Like I said in the beginning, raising kids is a hard job, most days it drains the life out of you and you stand in front of that mirror saying WTF. You go to bed with nightmares of the days and thinking if you good enough and doing a good job. Then there are days that you see that’s you’re doing a good job and they make you smile. Then there will be days in the future that you see the joy of what you did in the people you raised, and those are the days I hope too see.

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Conway Twitty put it beat in his song “that’s my job” and it will forever hold a place in my heart as father. https://youtu.be/L7XK_zNq930