Life in a box... opening my eyes
- Joe Siar
- Mar 22, 2021
- 3 min read
Being divorced has opened my eyes to many things I don’t think I would have seen had it never happened. Fuck the dirty stigma that comes from feeling unwanted... there is so much more to life than that.
1. I don’t need someone to complete me.
Being single, although incredibly lonely at times, doesn’t mean I’m not a complete person alone. In fact, for the longest time I didn’t believe I was a complete person because I thought I had to have another person in my life as if something was missing without someone I’m my life. I had spent most of my young years in a relationship, never knowing what it was like to be single.
Truth be told, I’m a complete person with or without a partner. The lonely times don’t and never will dictate my worth, they don’t dictate my purpose here on earth. Being single doesn’t make my quality of life poor or worse than anyone else’s.
Life is and always will be what I make it.
2. Quality time with my kids is priceless.
We recently went on a family trip to Austin and I allowed myself to “spend” freely and enjoy my kids freely. Where as before I would not have been able to make that choice on my own. This was the first official trip my kids and I have taken together, and I allowed myself just to enjoy the moments and share them with my kids. We acted goofy, made a hundred stops, ate crappy food, and just loved the time we had (and fought... no one’s perfect). There is no price tag on quality time with your loved ones. As my time with my kids draws closer to an end, soon I’ll be wishing I could buy that time back.
I’d rather be poor and have memories than be rich and have nothing to show for it. It’s taken me along time to realize this.
3. I am stronger than I think.
My biggest fear as a single dad was raising kids all alone. Girls, of all things. In no way did I think I could do that all by myself. However, that’s not true. I am powerful, I am strong, I am present, I will always be their rock, and I am capable of anything. No one is here to beat me down for not being this man anymore, except myself. There is nothing I can’t accomplish on my own. Nothing will stand in my way, and in the end I’ll be a better man for it.
Strength is an undervalued superpower.
4. I undervalue what I have, and over value what others have.
This statement rung powerful to me when I first heard it. Sure, I’m a fat(ish), bald, average height, single dad. But, are my circumstances worse than the other guy who’s buff, has hair, 6’2, and married?
Maybe... maybe not... maybe his wife’s marriage sucks or his wife is cheating on him with his best friend... maybe he’s miserable... maybe I’m incredibly fortunate to have the things I have. To have the the people who love me, and the chance to love my kids with all my heart everyday.
5. I am amazing just the way I am.
Before I was single I didn’t know my worth, it was always predicated on what my spouse thought of me. It wasn’t until I was divorced and single living on my own that I realized just how amazing I am. That my worth is not found in other people but rather in my own self. Only I can determine what that is, others can not. I am enough, I am amazing, I am incredible. I always have been, and I always will be. Anyone who thinks or has ever said otherwise is certainly entitled to their opinion.
However, I’m an incredibly amazing human being no matter what anyone else thinks of me.... and so are you!
❤️ love always
- Joe
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