Not everything is black and white

It’s been 6 months and some change (pun intended)

I’ve learned that not everything is B&W in life. This last year I have seen Riley graduate high school at 16, and watched my oldest daughter Avery graduate from the same high school her mother and I graduated from 20 years ago.

Both are going to move on to become strong independent women in a world I know less and less about as I grow older.

A week ago I turned 39! Just 1 more year till I reach a new decade… WTF.

The older I grow, the more conversations I have with my children, the more I see how blessed I am to be a father. In particularly THEIR father.

Parenting is hard, & indescribably difficult work.

Yet, as a man, I’ve taken the time to listen to my daughters speak with honest fear of growing up in the world today and it is not something I can relate to.

To have tears streaming down my daughters faces about this fear and how could they raise their own future children in this world, is hard to respond to. They say things like:

“I’ll never have children.”

That makes me sad, because if that were to happen they would never experience all the joy and pain I’ve had on my own journey.

As a father I want to have all the answers. Yet, I don’t have any answers. As I listened to their words and their cries all I could say was this:

“As your dad I will always and forever be here to protect you against this world. I will always love, cherish, and support you in any way I can. Most of all, the love I feel for you on a daily basis will forever outweigh the pain and tribulations I went through to be in this moment here with you. I would suffer a million times over if it means I get to hold you and protect you for one more day. Y’all make everything worth fighting for, you always will.”

As their father I can’t make all their pain or fear go away, but I do know I can love them through it. That’s all I can do, it’s all I that I should do. As they grow into adults I have to allow them to set sail on this journey called life and navigate it under the winds and currents of their own adventures.

I can only be the anchor when they need me to be. Their path must be different that mine, it’s the way parenting works. I can’t tell them how to live or what to do, I can only support them and help guide them in the direction of least resistance.

However all children will always choose their own path. It doesn’t matter if I think it’s the right path or not. Because, that not my duty as a parent. But, they will find their way. They always do.

I will be the light house that shines in the darkest of night, the most turbulent of seas, or the most beautiful of day.

Always here…