September 10th 2023

I’ve been raising my 3 children all alone for many years.

Alex is my youngest child. The last few years have been a journey to say the least. This isn’t actually the first time I’ve dealt with this. In the past I’ve just fought in silence. Alex came out as transgender and gay at around age 10. Alex’s given name is Isabella but choices for a few reasons not to use that name because of past trauma associated with it. He also struggles with social anxiety at a very high level.

I don’t fight Alex on his feelings inside. Which as a parent I know sounds hard because it is foreign to us. Instead I have always chosen to support Alex (not with medical procedures or hormone therapy) but by just listening, trying to understand, and choosing to keep my beliefs to myself. I believe our children have to find their own path in life and we as parents must be right next to them in this path to make sure they feel safe, loved, supported, and protected.

There is no user manual in an ever changing world on how to navigate it. We can only give it 110%.

Alex loves to cook! He has a passion for it which warms my heart because so do I. He also loves to write and it’s a gifted artist. He loves art and music. He also loves animals. He has 3 Guinea pigs and 2 mice. He is loving, kind, caring, and strong! Alex has always been independent and walked his own path. I have never met anyone who doesn’t love Alex, and I mean they love Alex and just being around him. He is such a joy.

It absolutely breaks my heart to see him struggle. As his dad I wish I could shoulder all the pain and suffering onto myself, but I can’t!

Mental illness is so scary because it’s not something with physical or visible diagnosis. You can’t see it on a X-ray or in a blood test. There are no visible abrasions or treatable wounds. We also can’t get into someone’s mind, heart, or soul and see what ails them.

It’s as if you are put into a pitch dark room and all you can hear are the screams and sounds of pain but you can’t see what is causing the pain or how to treat it. For most people it’s a lifelong battle. It’s an illness without a cure.

I have been working with my kids for as long as I’ve been raising them on helping to heal their wounds. For Alex in particular this will not be a problem fixed with once “operation” it will be a long hard fought battle with ups and downs. There will be good days and bad days. There will medications, mental health professionals, therapy programs, and medication, medication changes, and more than likely relapses.

If you were to ask anyone who knows me they would tell you that I don’t ask for help ever. I suffer silently and I would rather drown than ask for a lifeline. However, I knew how much that would harm my child if I didn’t change my mindset.

The world can be an ugly place sometimes. There are people who have even accused me of fraud. And that hurts! That hurts my heart that someone who doesn’t even know me would ever say or think that about me.

However, the world is also an amazing place full of amazing people who answer the call of help and have huge hearts and are just waiting for an opportunity to help others.

Your generosity, support, love, kindness, and help will go along way! And it will do a lot of good for my family as we fight through this battle! ❤️❤️ much love!