The legend of the beast

Every morning I wake my kids up for school. To say they are not morning people would be a vigorous understatement.

I compare it it to a horror movie when a demon meets its kryptonite. Like when a vampire is thrown into the sun or a when the wicked witch was melting. I mean, you would think I was torturing my children by waking them up at the same time they have been getting up for years.

My youngest (8), named Bella, is by far the worst. She literally screams every morning at anyone who dare wake the beast. In most cases she even resembles a beast, with her little blonde hair sticking straight up and the most monstrous scowl you can imagine. I‘ve been assaulted on many occasion trying to ruffle the beasts feathers. I try and keep my distance most mornings so I don’t lose a finger or an eye.

Typically after some time, food, and preparation she calms down and becomes her normal self. We complete our morning routine and get off to school. I‘m contemplating an investment in a long pole, some armor, and possibly a shield so when I wake the beast I can protect myself from imminent danger.

But praise be to the man who marries the beast!!!